On November 16, 2022, my 16-year-old son Nate died.
That word “Died “ is so harsh. And yet I heard someone say Nate “passed, or passed away” but he didn’t. When an old man slowly drifts off to sleep in hospice care they “pass away” when an elderly person who has lived a long and full life has a heart attack and just doesn’t wake up, they have passed. But my son leaving this world the way he did was harsh, cruel and deserves wording as strong as the grief it produces. His death cannot be sugar coated with gentle words.
As Keith Whitley once sang “I’m No Stranger to the Rain” There are times I feel like Jeremiah as the Prophet Jeremiah in the Bible is referred to as the weeping Prophet.
When tragedy hits so close to home the question arises, will I do the funeral of someone so close to me? My first official assignment as a minister was to do my younger brother’s funeral. I gave the eulogy at the funeral for my son Samuel. But part of me regrets not doing the funeral service for him. For me this is how I process, this is how I grieve. This sitting down and writing and working through the emotion, this finding strength and comfort in Christ. In speaking and sharing. But this time I think I will leave that platform to some kindred spirits of mine. And I will process through my grief on the online platform that has been set up at though Outa the Box Ministries.
Therefore, I determined to do this blog, to do this for myself, to do this for my sons Liam and Eligh, and for my wife Bobbie-Jo. This is what I do, this is my calling. Perhaps this might help one person somewhere find the comfort and strength in God that I have found. Will some people take ti the wrong way, of this I am fairly certain, will some people think I am putting on some kind of show? Probably. But as the poem written on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta, India says “Do it Anyway”.
I could have put this on Facebook but assumed it would get lost in the news feed or else bombarded people who did not wish to participate in reading my heartbroken ramblings. So I have set up this blog to which people can be a part of if they choose.
Below is one of the first things that God spoke to me as I cried out the next morning, “Oh my son Nate! My son, My Son Nate…
2 Samuel 18, 19
(18:33) The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!”
(19:4) The king covered his face and cried aloud, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!”
(19:5) Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, …. (19:7) Now go out and encourage your men
(19:8) So the king got up and took his seat in the gateway. When the men were told, “The king is sitting in the gateway,” they all came before him.
I will endeavor to encourage others even as I encourage myself in the LORD. (1 Samuel 30:6 King James Version “And David was greatly distressed;…: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.”)
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